day 22~when living small looks like talking about your purpose

~these are the days of faith conversations with my daughter~

I was fully prepared to write about something else tonight. And then, in laying with my oldest daughter tonight before she went to sleep, our conversation had me thinking a bit.

I don’t think that every little thing we experience should be recorded for the world to see. Even if it is a beautiful small moment. And I’m writing about my family so I still want to have some protection over them. They know I write about them, but I won’t ever write something that they might not be comfortable with, although they’re still a bit young to understand how media and the Internet really work. Plus, the details of the conversation we had tonight was one for just us. One she meant for just her and I.

But what we talked about, what her young heart was so desperate for, is one I think we can all relate to. So I’ll summarize a bit and leave the details with just us.

What she wanted to know about was her purpose.

Isn’t that a question we’ve all asked at some point? Why am I here? What plans does God have for me? What does God want me to do?

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t asking that question as a nine-year old. And I’m pretty sure as a child, my interpretation was more one of what God wanted me to do with my life, like my career or the path I should take for college and things like that. And what I wish I understood as a younger person was that there isn’t just one specific purpose God has for us. We shouldn’t live our lives only thinking about that one, specific thing. And while I think God does have specific things we are to do with our lives, things that perhaps only we can do and if we don’t do them, someone else will do them instead (thank you, Pastor Adam), what I’m learning is that God’s purpose is here and now in the moment.

And what I tried to explain to my daughter is that yes, we can pray about what God has for her life, what destiny and specific things he wants to use her for one day, but what’s more important right now, is right now. Learning to hear His voice and what purposes He has for us today.

“Mom, the day is almost over.”

Kids. So literal.

So we discussed how God talks to us and how we might hear His voice. We’ve talked about this before, but she’s getting it more now. How He might tell us to do something so small that it seems insignificant: texting a friend that we’re thinking of them, sending a note to someone, praying for someone, writing something down that He might want us to tell someone else. I gave her examples from my own life where I’ve done that for others and where others have done that for me. She was excited about some of the things I told her. Especially because it aligned with something she learned in one of her dance classes, that perhaps God would tell her something to share with someone and it would be exactly what they needed to hear.

I told her that I’m still learning how God talks to me, and still learning to listen and do it. That it’s not about perfection, but learning and growing and even messing up sometimes. But our purpose, in the right now, in the small moments of living, is really about hearing from God and doing what He asks of us. And along the way, we might get little pieces that will connect to bigger pieces in the future. But just to not worry about the future and focus on now.

I learned she has a journal where she’s already writing down things she prays about. She’s also written down some dreams. As we were talking, she actually said she thinks she now knows what one of her dreams meant. And it had to do with what we were talking about.

This is one of the reasons I still lay with my kids at night (or naps). Because this conversation would most likely not happen during the craziness of everyday life. But in the quiet it does. In the stillness of time with just her and me and no interruptions. And she feels safe enough to ask and safe enough to talk about things that are meaningful. I feel like she’s so much more on the path to knowing her identity at a young age than I ever was.

As I was leaving, she said, “You know, Mom, I sometimes think God is just sitting in my chair over there, watching me and looking over me.” With tears in my eyes, I told her she was probably right. And I reminded her that He knows the hairs on her head and even sings over her.

She smiled. “What does He sing?” {It was one of those moments I wish I knew my Bible like my pastor does}. I told her I wasn’t completely sure, but I was pretty sure it was about His love for her. That as hard as it is for me to imagine, He loves her more than I do.

Before I started writing tonight, I was looking up things about childlike faith, and stumbled upon some words from Oswald Chambers {can I just say, my younger self would have not appreciated his wisdom, but my older self can’t seem to get enough of him}. And the words he wrote, I felt had relevance to this conversation I had with Eliana.

**If you want to check out the rest of my #write31days series, you can find the link here.

And don’t forget to check out this link! I’m giving away two copies of Simply Tuesday!