~these are the days of “mom, watch me”~
Some beautiful fall weather this week means trying to be outside a little bit more. Savoring the days of not needing jackets, smelling the crisp air, tramping on leaves, and just enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. Once it gets cold, I can turn into a bit of a hermit and would prefer to snuggle under blankets than traipse outside.
We are fortunate to basically live in the backyard of our local high school so we can just walk down the alley a hundred yards and end up in the big practice baseball field next to the track. When there isn’t a game or practice the field is a perfect place for running around, playing ball or frisbee or rolling down the hill.
With so much to do and so much freedom in running around, it’s one kid after another yelling, “Mom, watch.” “Mom, watch me.” “Mom, did you see that?” “Mom, you weren’t watching!” “Mom, Mom, Mom!!” Literally, like 2517 times in a row. I can’t watch them all at once. By the time I watch one, there’s one waiting, one telling me to watch them, one waving their arms at me to watch again, and one running away from us who needs to be chased after.
And if your eyes leave them for one second, they have this sixth sense that you didn’t see what you were supposed to see. “MOM, you missed it! You weren’t watching!” Sometimes you can’t help it. You’re running after one and miss what you were supposed to see with the other one. So they do it again. But of course, they mess up and you need to keep watching. Meanwhile the lineup of “watch me, Mom” is growing and you can’t keep up with it all.
It’s not that kids are egocentric. Or is it? Or are they just so proud of themselves and want you to see what they’re doing? Or they just want some attention perhaps? They want to know that you really see them. That you really care.
For my kids, I’m their audience most of the time. (Jason too of course, but he wasn’t here for this one. And he hears the, “Dad, watch” stuff all the time). So for most of their day, it’s basically me. They are part of the audience for each other too, but it’s me they really want. They want me to notice them.
Their audience of one.
Isn’t that sort of what the world wants too? People just want to be noticed. They want someone to tell them they’re doing a good job. Or they want someone to see what they’re doing so they can be recognized for their accomplishments. Or they just want to troll someone’s website or social media page to stir up trouble and get some recognition. We live in this self-centered world of wanting to be more important than we really are. We see other people in glory and want the same for ourselves. We really are just like children in many ways.
And I wouldn’t expect the world to get it. But as a believer, I can’t get caught up in that madness. It’s easy to. It’s easy to want glory and recognition and admiration. It’s easy to say, “Watch me. Don’t you see what I’m doing?”
I forget sometimes that I too have an audience of One.
What the world thinks of me shouldn’t matter. My flesh certainly gets caught up in the world, though. When it does, I have to remind myself that I’m not living my life for anyone else. My identity is in Christ and Him alone. What He sees is more important than what anyone sees. And I want to live my life is a way that pleases Him. That just knowing Him is enough. That He sees me and loves me is enough.
I’ve been in places in my life where it feels like no one sees me. Just like my kids, it seems like everyone has taken their eyes off of me. That they miss really seeing me and knowing me. And it’s easy to get caught in that lonely place. Or get caught in thinking that it even matters. Like anyone else, I long for acceptance and friendship and community. And not that those are bad, but if my identity is found in them rather than Jesus, I have it backward.
Because when I don’t have those things I might long for, I still have Him. Reminding myself of this helps me focus on my smallness. It keeps me grounded in what is important.
If you find yourself in one of those places, know that He sees you. His eyes never leave you. Know that when it seems like you’re forgotten by the world, He never forgets you. And even if you can’t feel His presence, He’s still there.
You don’t even have to tell him to watch you. He already is. With eyes of love.
What do “these days” look like for you. Simply comment with one…these are the days of…
**If you want to check out the rest of my #write31days series, you can find the link here.
And don’t forget to check out this link! I’m giving away two copies of Simply Tuesday!